Think Bigg-r

Born in South Africa and living in Slovenia since 2006. 

My years in corporate were globally supercharged with outstanding teams and a great sense of urgency; no time to be lonely.  My family in Slovenia are terrific, impossible to be lonely.  I miss my daughter in South Africa, more than any words can portray, but not the same as being lonely.   

So how is it possible to be lonely? 

I internalized a long time ago that the problem is always on the inside.  Yes, there are aspects that I am responsible for, such as not learning Slovene, which severely limits my latitude for interactions.  If this was the reason that I was lonely, I would have conquered the hurdles to speaking Slovene.

Loneliness explained.

Inherent in my character, my intrinsic values and principles, my interpersonal skills, are living Win/win and seeking synergies.  In corporate this was “no sweat” and the reasons that leadership was natural to me. Easy.

My struggles in corporate were related to my connection with entrepreneurship. A dislike for bureaucracy, fabrication, misrepresentation, “covering your ass”,” brown-nosing” and more, all reasons to venture into my own businesses.    

In my own business, including start-ups, the space and my location is crowded with people that think and act Win/lose. People who see everything as a competitive space rather than opportunity for cooperation.  In my world I see plenty for everyone and more when people cooperate.  I excel in a competitive arena, but I achieve far more in cooperation with others.  Of course, there are situations where Win/win is not appropriate.

Maybe you can start to understand my loneliness, it is related to my own, smaller business because of a type of scarcity mentality. Very few that have an abundance mentality.

Here is the arena of my greatest loneliness. I know that there are better ways than only my approaches, others who complement my weaknesses. I may not know what alternatives and approaches would be better, but I have the absolute belief that there are better alternatives than what is achievable working as a single owner.  I know that 1+1 can equal 1000. 

I have a high tolerance for ambiguity that stems out of the security that I have from my integrity to principles and values.  My mind and heart are always open to new ways of doing things. I detest defensive and protective communications, maybe because I enter trusting rather than distrusting.  I thrive in open and authentic interactions. 

Small businesses stay small mainly because intrinsic to their thinking is Win/lose and believing it is better to own alone because others cannot be trusted.   They seldom achieve synergies.  Yes, there are many extremely successful ventures of sole ownership and of owners that act Win/lose; but they never reach their full potential.  Many disappear by the 3^rd generation.

Business has always been a big part of my life and always will be, especially since I do not subscribe to the philosophy of retirement.  Working in a space where very few share my thinking, where very few are scripted with interpersonal skills necessary for real leadership, is lonely.  My world is teamwork and partnerships and creativity with others.