FORGIVING IS NOT ENOUGH.
Most of my life I accepted the principle of forgiveness. My Christian upbringing. But I struggled to forget. I would proudly talk about forgiving but never forgetting. I had to learn that forgiveness was not because the other party deserved it, but because I deserved the peace.
I struggled with the biblical concept of turning the other cheek. I still do because in life we get what we accept, there must be a setting of the boundaries. But don’t think that that you put people in their place by not forgetting, the reality is it keeps you in your place of resentment.
Part of wisdom is recognising that nothing is black or white. Understanding that the only one who feels the resentment is the one who holds onto it.
My wisdom today is that we do not experience true contentment, real peace of mind, until we genuinely can unpack and forget. Forgiveness gets you 20%, the remaining 80% lies in forgetting. It is not the lack of forgiving that has a hold on you but not forgetting.
I have many real-life experiences where I temporarily found myself in the space of “revenge”, only to reflect on the negative impact on my peace of mind. This reflection is needed to move on to forgetting.
Some believe in Karma, others not. Personally, I have found that where people have difficult moments and tragedies in their life, they could, if honest to themselves, trace back to events in which they did not act properly.
Many illustrative experiences, the most recent, purchasing the vehicle in the picture below from a well-known hairdresser in Ljubljana. I misjudged the character ethic of the seller. Costly in financial terms, hence my first reaction was to put him in his place. The seller had no impact of my resentment, only me, so I switched to “I have a car with character”.
With reflection, and living a life where I acknowledge that the problem is on the inside, I was able to see the enormous value in my learning and rather focus on this. Believing in Karma, fact or fiction, helps me practice forgetting.
Often the best way to get rid of negative emotions is to revert to writing. Maybe it’s the recording of someone being an asshole that gets me to move on, whatever, I don’t really care, as long as it gets me back into peace of mind.
Do what works for you, but doing nothing is 100% wrong.
I am never afraid of courageous people (whether they are right or wrong), but I am scared like hell of weak people. Cowards are far more dangerous than strong people, in politics and in relationships. Inner strength truncated on a proper character ethic is priceless.
Forget having hundreds of connections or social media likes; what matters is a handful of friends and family that will climb mountains with you, people who share your character ethic. Show me your friends and I will know you.
Sleep, nutrition and exercise are vital to having high energy, but having purpose in life is paramount. My purpose, to continuously improve my inner core based on proper principles and proper values. This gets me to reflect, unpack and forget.
Think Bigg-r 