I have written previously that my consulting in business and mentoring in leadership was founded on a forthright and honest approach. I tell people that if I told them what they wanted to hear then I was only helping myself and not them.
Calling a spade a spade, with love.
This is a very lonely place to be in consulting. The majority of messaging in consultancy is for short term gain, choosing falsehoods over truths to gain a fee that in reality (measured in terms of value) is not due to them.
Many consultants reinforce messaging that the audience want to hear for fear of losing clients. I have seen a similar approach with therapists that reinforce messages of being victimised rather than telling patients that we have all had childhood “traumas”, time to grow up and move on.
Reflect on your lens in life. Then act.
I believe that being truthful is the only approach that matters, that over the medium- and long-term positive outcomes will outweigh any short-term gain in falsehoods. This differentiation is my sweet spot, I never advertise, I am busy with referrals and repeat clients.
Change your relationship with your thinking rather than trying to fight it!
Growth is uncomfortable, hearing what you don’t want to hear is uncomfortable. I won’t validate what you feel without challenging you. My experience is that people only change when the pain of staying the same becomes unbearable. But it does not have to be that way.
The soft toy approach.
My personal discovery is the restraining forces of modern-day parenting, the cotton wool approach. Therapists that reinforce a patients feeling of being a victim are in reality practising a self centred approach. You feel you were hurt, you certainly were, instead of saying that is part of life, that happened 15 years ago, time to grow up.
Weak leaders are dangerous. Most of the turmoil we find ourselves in originates out of weak leaders. Similarly weak consultants prefer to avoid conflicts and rather tell their clients what their clients want to hear. An illusion based on hiding the truths for short term gain, fear of losing clients.
Practice continuing education.
My approach has not changed, but my focus has moved to medium- and long-term assignments that give time to build bonds of trust (proximity), a prerequisite to a forthright and honest approach. I need (different from want) businesses and leaders to grow at the pace they are capable of.
Recognize and act on red flags.
I have been blessed in this journey, I have worked with people who challenge my thinking and stretch my comfort zone. A kind of pressure that gets me closer to my potential, a journey of continuous learning. If at the conclusion of assignments I think that I am the more capable than teams I engaged with, that is a big red flag, a warning that I have not delivered proper value.
I never try to change people, I work to get them to realise their potential, to unlock their imaginary constraints. It is about attitude before aptitude and the importance of a good work ethic (discipline). Courage and consideration equates to the ability to be forthright, but never hurtful. Don’t engage to me to be vindicated in any behaviour, we put dead fish on the table.
Think Bigg-r 